Thursday, March 14, 2013

Old Blog Relic: Tales of Beedle the Bored

The Tales of Beedle the Bored

Jun. 12th, 2008 at 2:09 AM


I am "Beedle the Bored" and this is my tale..

take this:
- jobless for 9 consecutive months (and no, i wasn't pregnant)
- house is pretty much "as is" when we moved in (too bored to wipe clean since after 5 mins it'll turn dusty anyway)
- been hearing strange noises at night (a cat that only meows at exactly 2am, when i turn off the pc and go to bed!)
- getting more and more jealous of the neighbors (new paintjob, tiles, gate, house being remodelled, new appliance being delivered at their doorstep)
- i'm so bored i've been calling my clueless neighbors some silly names, i also got around to imagine weird stuff about who they really are....kinda spooky..
this will paint you a picture of what my neighborhood looks like..

manong stakeout 
armed with his binoculars and nightvision goggles (figment of my imagination)...could be weird though if its true.. 
he lives alone with his dog, he spends all day at home..
i wonder were he gets his money..could it be his dirty dealings...
my husband says he gave away his new bike to some guy he barely he gay? 
...and whats with the green curtains hanging outside the door? im telling ya, too gay..
thinking about how he gets by without a job, when one rainy night, a police mobile parked right outside his house. could they have caught him redhanded? well manong're not the only one watching... 
oh and sorry manong for Eve's Droppings.... (plugging my internet cafe idea: copywrighted, no more takers)

the aswangs
wall paint: royal blue
curtains: royal blue
mineral water: royal blue (i know...this color is standard..but i just had to add it : )
caution: as you walk past, dont look at them, dont stare, dont think, dont breathe, just....RUN straight home!

rihanna and chris brown (manong and manang Umbrella)
the house with a Micromatic Umbrella, permanently glued into the front lawn.
making everyone forget about what their house looks like, or do they have a picket fence..
people would quickly say, oh yeah the one with the Big mam rihanna and sir chris brown, 
forget about repainting the ol' picket will always be and only be your trusty Umbrella that people will recognize.. unless of course you get rid of it.....only then will you be, not popular..but unrecognizable...who's to say that your umbrella was your lucky charm, without it, it'll be like staring straight into a blank house..

the whiteys
well this is a charming new development, they seem nice and friendly. hope to find out more about them next year when they finally move in. the whiteys are the whiteys since they drive a white car and the one who drives it is an old man with white hair and is accompanied by his old wife with stunningly thick white (almost platinum) hair.

two words -- Fuschia Pink!
can't stand the curtains, cant stand the soundtrack emitting from that house!
an everyday dose of siakols mighty hit "bakitbakitba", itchyworms classic "beer"
and all the jologs songs that only the jologs of the jolog will be able to appreciate.
jologs hits handpicked by none other than, the jologsmeister.

the kuto group 
nnay delia, middle house lady, tess...u know the traditional pinoy hagdan with matching taong 
nagkukutuhan habang nagchichismisan..thats what they remind me of. enough said.
well there was this one incident though when an angry wife marched off of their turf and yelled at this woman who is kinda part of the kuto group, she yelled something like this woman is a right ol' flirt trying to seduce her husband.
lesson learned, stay at home. dont meddle with the kuto group, unless you want to be yelled at.

manong gala
ops ops ops, san ka pupunta? (where are you going?)
negative vibes from the start, he's bringing in his hommies from baryo sapang bato. his sons friends are the epitome' of jologs (are they friends with the Jologsmeister?). manong gala is sooo gala he goes out everyday in his red motorcycle, and not just once everyday...he comes back every hour, and he does that the entire day. he could have made a fortune if he makes it a tricycle. but no, he goes around scouting construction opportunities round the neighborhood, kind of pissed off the whiteys there a bit, but no sir, he carries on, with his dark brows held high, looking for any new sacks of cement brandished on the front lawns, hoping to get his crew recruited..trying to score some extra cash and extra gas mileage..for extended gala time....

manong tambay
no issues here...(although i havent returned the pop cola bottle...perhaps they have an issue with me..)
well there is just one thing we noticed though, why of all places is their turf filled with tambays..
my husband and i thought about this theory: maybe the four to five houses that are in that block, each have a tambay living with them, so these tambay guys realized their worth (umm, nothing?) ...gathered up together and agreed to get a makeshift basketball court, with matching old mattress as protection (in case the game gets kind of rough...goodluck with the bedmites) what a bright idea! keeps children off of drugs. but it wont keep them off of beer, manong tambay sells beer to these tambays (his son included) manong tambay a wayward child in the 60's?

manang tagusan
nicely positioned mini grocery, a sort of a leaky cauldron, at the back there is a secret passageway to diagon alley.
well we just want to shorten our travel time. my husband used to buy a single egg everytime he passes by manang tagusan, just so he can pass thru the shortcut. but i told him, unless he wants to be a laughing stock at the store, he should buy something else other than an egg. 

nothing wrong with this lady really, she's not bothersome, thank goodness...
its just that her voice is so squeaky, its no wonder why the tiny tot sounds peculiarly like her..
like granny like kiddie..

the house with a very cute white dog
that would be us. the house wouldnt even remotely be noticed had it not been occupied by our one and only mabisyo dog, eve eve. she is soo cute and chubby just like her mom. our neighbors really like her, she is so sweet looking and does not appear as mabisyo as we know her. i guess people would see us as a simple couple. both homebodys (although my partner is struggling to be one..he's very outgoing actually) poor us, there aren't any remodelling done yet at our home and i guess our neighbors noticed it too, but we dont give a tiny rats ass. 
well just wait and see..our future project is soon to rise..

well, there you have it, these are the people in my neighborhood.
have to go to sleep now, its 2am...i wonder if i'll hear the cats meow again? freaky...

This is a very old post from my Livejournal Blog. Thought I'd share it with you.. 

1 comment:

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